“Raising children is the responsibility of mothers and fathers have nothing to do with it.” Yes, this is an absurd statement but unfortunately the actions of many fathers reflect it – You, as a father are as equal of a role model as your wife. There are only few things which differentiates an Idle father to an involved father – let’s be sure that all Ahmadi fathers are of later type.
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih has asked members of our Jama’at to continuously do self-assessment (محاسبہ). For this, please download our Parents’ Monthly Self-Assessment form which serves as a good starting point. Download Self-Assessment Form
Here you will find a humble effort of providing you some resources. Feel free to share some tips so other fathers can learn from them.
Why It's Important
Holy Quran Says:
“O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are appointed angels, stern and severe, who disobey not Allah in what He commands them and do as they are commanded.” – The Holy Quran [66:7]
Holy Prophet (saw) said:
It was narrated that Hazrat Aisha (ra), said:
“Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet(ﷺ) and said: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said: ‘Yes’. He said: ‘But we, by Allah, never kiss (our children)’. The Prophet(ﷺ) said: ‘What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from you?'”
The Promised Messiah (as) said:
“An individual with self-respect and self-control, who is also forbearing and dignified, has the right to correct a child to a certain extend or guide the child. But a wrathful and hot-headed person who is easily provoked is not fit to be a guardian of children.” (Malfuzat, vol 2, p.4)
Resources for you:
- Atfal News and Announcements
- Events at Regional and National Level
- Taleem Syllabus
- Get Syllabus Book
- Atfal Exam Dates (Nov 18th & March 24th)
- 9 Habits
- Contact Mohtamim Sahib Atfal
- Weekly Friday Sermons by Huzur (aba)
- Ways of the Seekers by Hazrat Khalifatul Masih II (ra) – Download
- Raising Children in the West – Speech
- Raising Children in a Contemporary Society: Article
- Various Tarbiyyat Topics – Spiritualfitness.us
- Ansarullah USA website
- MKA USA website
- Salat Times & Ahmadiyya.US
- Showing love to your Child – Article
- Fathers do differently…. Article
What can you do
- Know and understand the tremendous responsibility you have: you are not raising your son only, but you are raising the future of this Jama’at. Jama’at is reflective of its members and so important for fathers to remember.
- Sign up for Tifl Post & Visit this website frequently
- Be an “involved father“, not an idle, because:
- you give them identity
- you give them comfort
- you give them confidence
- you play with them differently
- you communicate with them differently
- you discipline them differently
- you prepare them for real world differently
- Pray for your children: nothing can beat that.
- Write to Huzur (aba) requesting special prayers for your children by name.
- Go through our 9 habits and see:
- What is asked of your son(s)
- What is asked of you as a parent (check under Parents section of each habit)
- Ask for Help: Alhamdolillah, Jama’at Tarbiyyat Department, Khuddamul Ahmadiyya, Ansarullah & National Atfal teams are here to serve you. Ask us how to handle Halloween, Purdah issues, Birthday parties, Drugs etc… Our society is full of ills and there is no parent who knows it all.
- Build a strong relationship with Khilafat and be a role model.
- Be fair in your treatment of children. Sons & daughters should be treated equally.
- Start at an early age to talk to your Tifl son (not daughters only) about benefits of marrying within Jama’at. Remember: Ahmadi + Ahmadi = Ahmadiyyat
- Bring your son to all Jama’at and Atfal events: Reach out to ask if you have concerns.
- Bring them to offer Salat in congregation, attach them to Masjid and community
- Give feedback: tell us if something is not working out in your Majlis, lack of classes, structure etc…
- Have a quality family time. At minimum, set a weekend or a day every few weeks to go out and have a family time.
- Read to your children, talk to them…. have a dinner on a dining table if you have one rather than on while watching TV. Ask them about their day, tell them about yours.
- Be a helping hand at home! You know exactly what it means. Your son(s) sees you how you behave at home and history usually repeats itself in this case. If you are a good role model at home, treat you wife with love, respect, admiration and encouragement, you are going to have one happy daughter-in-law, inshallah. 🙂
- Read the biography of the perfect role model of all – Prophet Muhammad (saw)